Graceland

I thought I may hate Graceland, really there is much to hate, but while I felt like I may need to sell a kidney to afford the prices they charge it was an impressive display and you could hardly come to Memphis and miss it. 

Memphis is pretty easy to get around so I swung the chevy on to the road and headed the ten miles out of town to the venue. This is one well oiled money making machine. The operation is so big that you don't actually enter the mansion from the same side of the road as you park. You line up for tickets then wait for your alotted time to take a shuttle bus across Elvis Presley Boulevard to the front door of the mansion. 

You then have an ipad narrated tour along with staff in every room guiding you along so the next collection of ATM dispensers (I mean visitors) can get through. Parking was ten bucks, then it was another $45 if you wanted to see everything and if you were really keen you could pay for VIP pricing in $70's and $80's for God knows what. So ticket in hand I looked to see that my shuttle wouldn't depart for another 45 minutes so I went and checked out Elvis's jets (yes I do mean plural). They were furnsihed in what no doubt a stylist would term as "late South American dictator". They were impressive none the less. 

I beleive the term "exit through the gift shop" may have been coined here. There was a gift shop where you purchased your tickets but to leave the aircraft there was another larger gift shop to exit by. By the time I had checked out the jets I sat down and read my map and decided the rest could wait until after the mansion tour. 

At the appointed hour I lined up with the rest of Memphis and headed to the holy grail of Elvis fans. If you thought the planes were over the top the mansion was a whole other world. This guy loved his TV's, fourteen of them were present. There was expensive yet gaudy furnishing everywhere you turned, from the dining room to the den to the jungle room and whatever you would call the pool room. You're not allowed upstairs for reasons of taste we were told, I suspect the truth may be that it would slow down the tours and possibly prevent them from making more money. 

From here it was on to the Colonel's office, the memorabilia room, the racketball court, then the only truly tasteful and sombre part of the entire exercise, his grave along with the graves of many of his family members. It is housed in what he apparently termed his meditation garden. It was right below the pool deck and backed on to the stables. The entire site is or was 13.4 acres. He originally paid $100,000.00 for it in the late 1950's. I think they make more than that a day now.

I know I keep banging on about the money but there were two more gift shops that I had to exit through before I could leave. One for the photographic/photographer display and another for the automobile museum. 

I was talking to a security guard and apparently the entire organisation employs over 400 people. Customers were streaming in as I was leaving and the amount of merchandise being sold was massive. I bought 3 postcards for $0.99, they already had enough of my money.

There were apparently two more spots my pass let me into but I was that affronted by the entire exercise in commercialism that I left them to my next trip (never?). I grabbed a grilled chicken sandwich with onion rings for lunch. Apparently all the food at the three food outlets have menus inspired by the King himself. Curiuosly I couldn't find anyone offering deep fried peanut butter sandwiches. I tried to order a shake to go with my sandwich however. The cashier looked me stright in the eye and said "because we're are so busy we aint doing shakes today but that you get one from the icecream, shake and fudge shop right next door". I looked around at all the people behind me in the line, there were none. Then I looked at the orders they were working on, there were three. I looked her right back in the eye and ordered a coffee. 

It was a great museum and a great experience. There is no way I would tell anyone not to visit, you just need to know if you're going to Graceland that you'll pay until you bleed.