Murray Bridge

I spent the night in Murray Bridge last night and don't I wish I hadn't, what a dump. My Coonawarra Cab Sav hangover didn't get better all day. It was miserable whenever I went. Anywhere that was even mildly interesting or scenic was spoilt by the weather. The towns got progressively more dull. Robe was nice, Kingston was ok and Meningie didn't have a lot going for it apart from the wind. At that point I decided that at the next decent size town I would stop for the night. I consulted the map ans there were three choices, Wellington, Tailem Bend and Murray Bridge. Suffice it to say I didn't make a good choice.

I could have easily stayed in Naracoorte for another day. The breakfast waitress at Maddie's Cafe was impossibly beautiful, I could have started at her for hours (the food and coffee wasn't bad either). I'm sure she would have made my hangover feel better. Plus there was a robotic sheep shearing machine that they promised to demonstrate for me. Apparently it was made in the 1980's as a serious attempt to replace manual shearing. It cost $500,000.00 to develop and that only got them the one working prototype before the company went bust and now Nararcoorte has it. I love naff stuff like that. There was also the matter of the those nearby Coonawarra wineries (Penfolds, Katnook, Jamiesons Run, Wynns, Lindemans, Petaluma, Bowen, Brands Liara). As I drove out of town I looked at them accusingly. Here I was at the root cause behind so many of my past and present hangovers, not to mention their lightening of my bank balance. I motored on.

I amused myself by writing cheesy jokes about the places I had been. In regards to the Victoria Fossil Cave:

Palaeontologist One: So do you dig fossils?

Palaeontologist Two: Yeah, they're pretty cool.

Or the Naracoorte Hotel (after the door knob came off in my hands to my room)

Guest One: How many people does it take to open a door at the Naracoorte Hotel?

Guest Two: None, you come in through the windows.

Much and all as I could see a glittering comedy career awaiting me my brain was just not firing a its level best. 

A bed was calling out my name so I made the choice to stop at Wellington, the smallest town of my three choices. It seemed like an idyllic kind of place. You even have to put your car on a punt to cross the Murray River to get there. When I was about 10 kilometres away "Don't Pay The Ferryman" came on the GPS and I took it as a sign. I headed for Tailem Bend (I'd driven through  it before I'd even realised there was a town). Murray Bridge became my safe haven for the night, by default. 

I called in at the visitor centre and this very strange man tried to convince me to stay at a local pub I had just passed. I asked him if they got many trains through (it was right opposite the railway line). He said there was one every 15 minutes right throughout the night. I declined and checked in to this bizarre little motel (I won't name it because the guy who was running it was really nice). It was from the 1960's bessa block school of construction and still had the little hatch where they passed your breakfast in to you. I walked in to the room and was confronted by a teenagers wet dream. No word of a lie but there was a 60" LCD flat screen with DVD and Austar access. Most of the places I have stayed have a 26" screen if your lucky. 

I tried to get excited about Murray Bridge. It is the site of the first bridge across the Murray River (in 1878 if my memory is serving me correctly). I had driven across it so there wasn't a lot more to do. They were still pretty excited about the bridge. I think it's time they got over it. It was 130 years ago and they're getting quite common now. I think somebody should tell them. They also had a Giant concrete bunyip ($1.00 entry fee), the picture of it looked embarrassing. It was liked a bunch of stoners had been let loose with a cement truck and some very loud paint. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I decided to walk into town and see where I could eat. It was so depressing that I grabbed a BBQ chicken and went back to my room. Even that was weird. I got it from the local Woolworths, only they have two Woolworths. I literally came out of the first Woolworths to be faced with the entry sign for the next one. They are a block apart on the same side of the river. It was doing my head in. 

I ordered breakfast to my room (which they got wrong) because I couldn't face the town. I felt better just driving away. I got on the punt at Wellington (it has only sank 4 times in the past, the last in 1958), beautiful little town with a quaint old pub just where the punt lands. I pushed on to Strayalbyn (another gorgeous town) and headed in to Victor Harbour which has the most amazing azure blue water. All places more deserving of my money and time. 

I'm on Kangaroo Island for two nights now. Planning to do the animal (seals and raptors) thing tomorrow and just for a change take in a cave.