Final - The List

The magical whisky tour is over. The Geek Wanderlost caravan has driven its last mile. The cheesy words of the old REO Speedwagon song are ringing in my ears:


                   It's time to bring this ship into the shore
                   And throw away the oars, forever

Dubbo

I did some prac teaching in Dubbo back in the mid 1980's (you know last century). I also worked there for about 3 months not long after I finished uni so the place holds no mystery. I have been to the gaol and I have been to the zoo, so let's be honest that's about it. What was interesting to me was passing through all the old towns that were part of my high school years.

As some of you would know I attended quasi prestigious boarding school in Sydney that was originally set up to educate kid's from the country. I was living in Newcastle at the time so it was a bit of a stretch that I even qualified. Here I was a kid from the city that was just three hours up the road (the highway was not as good back then) boarding with these kids from the middle of nowhere. I had the pleasure and privilege to visit some of them and their families on the pastoral properties that they came from and here I was passing through those same parts of the world again.

It brought back memories of the Caddy's of Tottenham, the Traverse-Jones family from Trangie, The Campbell's from Narromine, the Cosgroves from Warren, the Day's from Forbes, the Cranston's from Wongarbon, the Tristian-Smith's from Orange and the Steele's from Dubbo. That's not to mention the families whose names I have forgotten that I visited in Nyngan, Wilcannia, Peak Hill and Gilgandra. What are they doing now? Are they still living there? Would they still remember me? Would I still remember them? Sadly all these question will remain unanswered as in most cases I lost contact with them decades ago. It was fun to reminisce all the same.

The one town that made me smile the most was Cobar. I can't remember the name of the family I knew from there but I do remember writing a mock country song about the town in a humorous vein entitled "No One's Sober In Cobar". Sadly I could only remember the title and the next line but the tune was still stuck in my head. I amused myself for some time humming the now forgotten, never to be country classic. 

Dubbo is still a dump though. I made a cardinal mistake when I booked somewhere to stay there. I didn't look at where it was on the map. Now there is a real seedy side to Dubbo and no points for guessing where I ended up. It's not like I didn't know where it was either. It was just laziness and apathy on my part so there is no one else to blame. I needed to stretch my legs when I got there, I had basically been in the car for 8 hours. I decided to walk across the bridge and into town and back. Well I saw discarded syringes, nearly got run over by a motor bike that was on a walkway, and got pan handled. That was all within an hour of arriving in town. Now I have been in some pretty dodgy parts of Australia on this trip and felt much safer in all of them. Dubbo was creeping me out.

Well I am back in Muswellbrook tomorrow, just for a night or two. I have to be in Sydney for a few days later in the week and will be back in town to start work fresh as a daisy on Wednesday, I can't wait!

Broken Hill

I arrived in Broken Hill not long after 11.00am. I headed to the tourist office to get a local map, then went and grabbed a much needed espresso coffee. I have to say the town is thriving and has a pretty good vibe to it. It's closer to Adelaide than Sydney, 520 k's versus 1150k's, so everything is really centred around South Australia. It even stays in the South Australian time zone. There were three things I wanted to do here but I only got around to doing two of them. I missed out on the Living Dessert Sculpture Park from pure apathy nothing else. I did however get to see where they shot a lot of Mad Max 2 and I also got to see the Pro Hart Gallery.

Broken Hill gets its name from a break in the hills that was at the original site of the town. Of course being a mining town they have mined the break into oblivion so the name is somewhat of a misnomer now. BHP also takes its name from the town but hasn't been active there since the 1950's but there is still plenty of mining going on. I stayed at this wonderful old renovated pub that had just 23 guest rooms along with an extremely nice dining room. They even had a live pianist playing (no I didn't get up and have a go). This guy was so old I think he could have been Methuselah's father. Everything he played sounded like those jaunty old war time tunes like "Tea for Two", "Pack Up Your Troubles In An Old Kit Bag" and "It's A Long Way to Tipperary". Even when he played more recent stuff (say only 30 years old) it still sounded as if it had been arranged for the musical hall. I absolutely loved it. It made me a little sad however because it made me think of mum. This was her kind of music and of course she will never hear it again.

I'm getting ahead of myself however as I have to tell you about the Pro Hart Gallery. Old Pro was a much maligned Australian artist whose use of colour and innovate painting techniques (think firing paint filled cannon balls at your canvas using a variety of weaponry) raised a few eyebrows. He made fabulous use of colour and portrayed iconic bush scenes in a vivid and totally understandable way, it was instantly appealing and recognisable to a child. What I didn't know until I visited the museum was that he was also a talented sculptor, some of his portrait work was absolutely haunting (he was often criticised for not being able to paint people), plus he also had quite a political side to his work. I always had a sneaking admiration for him because he was a talented organist as well. The gallery was only small but it has some fabulous examples of his work, including one of the Rolls Royces he had painted and of course the famous dragonfly image from his stainmaster carpet TV commercials. It gave me a fresh look at both the man and his work. I'm pleased I got to see to through adult eyes.

I also visited Silverton which is not far out of town. It really is a ghost town. It has a population of about 50 and is trying to eke out an existence based on its appearance in innumerable TV shows and films. I have to say that it didn't do a lot for me. There was nothing particularly wrong with the place but it's charms were lost on this visitor. 

In contrast the dinner in the dining room at the Royal Exchange Hotel Broken Hill was exceptional. Hard as it is to believe but I would say it was the best meal I enjoyed this entire trip. A twice baked cheese soufflé and the tenderest piece of eye fillet I have eaten in a long time. Sadly everything wasn't perfect as I ended up with a hair in my meal (that obviously wasn't mine). That did however get me a complimentary cheese platter and a glass of 21 year old port so I really can't complain. 

Dubbo is my next stop. It's really only a layover place. Just the 750 kilometres up the road. The trip is nearly over and I'd say two or three more posts will see this blog out for the immediate future. Who knows where or when I will get to fire it up again?

Peterborough

From Coober Pedy I headed to Peterborough. It's the last substantial town in South Australia before you reach the New South Wales border. It was once a thriving railway junction where three gauges of train line met. Back before federation each state adopted a different size of rail line meaning that you had change trains if you travelled interstate. Worse still was the freight which had to be unloaded then loaded on to each different state's rail network. Obviously both of these things are time consuming, expensive and pointless but it wasn't until 1970 that the countries major train lines were standardised. Peterborough thrived until then.

Coober Pedy

There is not a whole lot going on in the way of things to see and do when travelling from King's Canyon to Coober Pedy. In fact I would have to rate it the most boring bit of road I have travelled on this entire trip. Once I got back out to the Stuart Highway I left the Northern Territory and entered re entered South Australia. The first thing you notice is the road improves but the speed limit drops. The first town inside of South Australia is Marla and it's 156 kilometres from the border. I would rather listen to a speech by Julia Gillard than do that drive again. 

King's Canyon

How do you top Ayers Rock? It's a mighty hard ask and so the remaining activities left on the this odyssey will unfortunately for them be measured against this most amazing of experiences. I think it would need to be maybe the Grand Canyon or something as awesome to stand a ghost of a chance of getting close to the Ayers Rock experience. 

Therefore it was with not much hope that I drove the 304 kilometres from Ayers Rock, past Fooluru and on to King's Canyon. Look it is a really impressive sight but it just can't compete which is a real shame as it's well worth a look. I arrived slightly hungover as the night at the hotel bar hadn't finished until just after midnight and as seems often to be the case I consumed a little more than I intended. Well a leisurely (yeah right) 6 kilometres stroll up and down the sides and across the top of King's Canyon soon sweated the remnants of any alcohol out of me. It was a sight to behold.

Yes I did walk up the left side, across the top, then down the right side. I went back to check out the sun setting on the cliff tops, pretty impressive don't you think?


I did the walk by myself and caught up with David and Keely for a glass of red (hey I needed one more) at the sunset viewing before we headed back to the resort for dinner.

Now calling it a resort is a bit of stretch, mind you I got one hell of a room upgrade. I just booked the entry level room and ended up with a spa suite so I wasn't complaining.

Sadly I had no one suitable to share this with so it largely went unused. The reason I mention the dubious nature of the resort title is not by way of complaining but when you turn up somewhere and they have run out of bread, chips, wedges and a whole host of other things that I can't remember right now you know it's not a resort. Alice Springs is 300 k's away so it's not like you can go up the street and get some more however having to wait until the next truck arrives (there is one a week) to replenish supplies takes away from the resort part of the deal. None of it bothered me as everything I wanted they had (plenty of red wine for instance). 


The nights entertainment was when it started to get interesting again. I didn't feature on a piano this time but I did manage to join an all girl singing group called the "Lice Girls". Let me explain. Little Keely was pulled up on stage to get all the kid's involved and let the mums and dads enjoy their meal. The catch however was once the kid's were finished they got all the dads up (queue David). Then when all the dads were done all the mums got up. Well I assume they must have thought that David and I were two gay dads so I got dragged up to act as Kelly's surrogate stage mother.

Yes that's me with rollers in my hair. Oh how the mighty have fallen. From playing the star at the Ayers Rock Resort to playing the fool at King's Canyon. What can I say but any chance of my ego getting too inflated was quickly dealt with, but a good time was had by all. We called it an early night and I retired alone to my spa suite with my glittering show business career withering on the vine before my very eyes. 


David, Keely and I caught up for quick breakfast early the next morning. They were heading for Alice Springs and I was heading for Coober Pedy. I bade them farewell and wished them a safe journey. I somehow know we will stay in touch, they made a great part of my trip truly exceptional.

Extraordinary Day

My second day at Ayers Rock was pretty amazing on so many levels. I picked up two Japanese hitch hikers, my car can really only fit one extra at the moment. I met up with a single dad and his delightful daughter from Adelaide and we swapped divorce stories (his were better). I belted out some tunes on a piano at one of the hotels and had a crowd of people singing Billy Joel and Jackson Browne tunes. Oh and to top things off I was offered a job. You will have to read on to get the juicy details.

Ayers Rock

I was wandering around the rock today and found this old pair of rusty scissors, or at least I think it was rust. I didn't know that dingos could use scissors. It's not to soon for that joke is it? Anyway I drove in from Alice Springs and headed straight for the rock, it's not like there is a lot else to do if you are in this part of the world. 

Devil's Marbles

Well I have some rather tragic news. My faux summer has come to an end. It gone down to one degree last night and could only manage a top of 18 today so the polo shirts and shorts are back in the bag. In other sad news Lake Eyre is down to about 10% capacity so not really worth the effort to fly over it I'm sorry to say. It seems that nature is telling me its time to end this sojourn and get back to work. So it's off to Alice Springs today via some more interesting looking rocks. Followed by Ayers Rock and Kings Canyon, Coober Pedy, Broken Hill, Dubbo, another quick stop in Sydney and then home. I'm thinking I will pull into the driveway on about the 15th or 16th. But lets not get ahead of ourselves.

The Territory

I drove down the road to Tennant Creek today, what a town. At least I didn't get an armed police welcoming committee here so that was refreshing. The local cop was happily pulling over anyone breaking the town speed limit however. He could have put himself to better use patrolling the highway. They drive like maniacs here, it's as if their life depends on it, I know mine certainly did. 

Katherine

Having slept for close to ten hours to deal with the previous day's hangover I woke up feeling like a new woman, sadly one wasn't available so I had breakfast instead. I jumped in the car after the delightful Aline had served me my meal and started my trip to Katherine, a mere 247 kilometres away. I mean you can do that in about an hour here. Suffice it to say I was doing a little over the speed limit (130 kph) and as I slowed to enter Katherine I was greeted by the Northern Territory Police. They wear khaki uniforms here which are somewhat reminiscent of the army and the four officers that searched my car had two shotguns and two assault rifles at the ready. It seemed a little over the top for a traffic infringement. It was a little surreal seeing a quasi military force patrolling in Australia. I mean its not like the Chaser boys were here trying to get in to APEC.

Kakadu

My faith in humanity has been restored, despite some more annoying setbacks and some plain dumb people the charm of this place is really starting to get me in. Let me deal with the negatives first. I called in at one of the visitor info centres here for some day trip advice. Much of what they told me was good except they sent me to two places that were actually closed. Not closed for the day or a few hours but had permanent signs up saying this part of the park is closed. When you drive to these places, which are often not just round the corner only to have to turn around and backtrack, it is more than a bit annoying and quite unprofessional. The second setback is my reading glasses that were sent to me in Tasmania  I think are now at the bottom of the Yellow River. Oh well I know I have my snorkel and flippers with me but unless I go and get them with a tungsten reinforced crocodile cage they can stay where they are. 

Heading to Kakadu

I was really looking forward to this part of the trip, stunning country, remote Australian locations, lots of crocodiles. Having got here I am a bit more ambivalent. I woke up this morning with the start of a head cold courtesy of the dodgy air conditioning at the Darwin Medina. It was really trying hard but the attention to detail was severely lacking. I dined in the restaurant the first night I was there, I ordered a coffee at 7.45pm but they had cleaned the machine. I was awoken at 7.00am this morning by the housekeeping staff enquiring as to when I would be checking out. When I checked the bill they had ripped me off $ 17.00 for parking. I liked Darwin but the care factor is "here's two dollars, when a phone call costs that much give me call".

Darwin

There is a lot to like about Darwin, it has a great vibe. Having said that I don't think I would live here by choice. It's young, brash and outwardly self confident but underneath it all it checks itself in the mirror before it goes out and wants to know if it's bum looks big in this. It's the kind of town (not city) that someone young could feel at home in. It would be a nice place to grow up with and I have no doubt that in twenty years time it will be like Perth. Where I'm staying is a case in point, the waterfront redevelopment looks great but it hasn't found it feet yet. There are vacant premises, building works still underway, but nowhere near enough people to support all the restaurants and other businesses already here. 

Kununurra to Darwin

I arrived in Darwin at about 5.00pm (can you believe it I am in a part of the world where I can legally go really fast and I kept getting stuck behind caravaners, road trains and worst of all I had a cop sit on my back side for about 50 k's). Entering the Northern Territory was pretty uneventful. WA has a quarantine station coming the other way however NT just has a sign (or a series of signs really). The first one welcomes you, the second one tells you that maximum speed in the state is 110kph (unless otherwise signposted), then 50 metres up the road is a signpost saying that the speed in 130kph. I set the cruise control to the aforementioned number and watched the world fly by. I had been in the territory for less than a minute and I was already liking it.

Lake Argyle and The Ord River

I had a very minor mechanical mishap that needed my somewhat immediate attention, so that was how I started my last day in Kununurra. I had a slow leak in  the front passenger side tyre. I had checked all the guff you should do regularly to your car in Broome. Oil and water were good but one recalcitrant tyre needed more air than was acceptable. I thought maybe I had been lazy and not checked it properly before so I re inflated it and headed off to Kununurra. I mean what could go wrong over those 1044 kilometres? It looked fine when I arrived so I thought I would check it again the next day. Well I kind of forgot. I drove to Wyndham and back, just another 200 kilometres, and noticed that it was quite flat when I got back so I topped it up again. It was too late to do anything about it Friday night so I thought I would fix it on Saturday morning (yeah right). 

Kununurra

I am still very much in the "zone" from my time in Broome and it's hard not compare. Gorgeous coastal wonderland versus inland mining town, I'm sorry but the coast wins hands down. They just have it together whereas here in Kununurra they are still trying. Don't get me wrong this place is not without it's charms. It's just the bench mark has been set so extraordinarily high that there is nowhere that I know of that comes close except for maybe the Whitsunday Islands in Queensland.

Leaving Broome

It was with some sadness that I leave Broome. There were still things left that I wanted to see and do and the weather and the ambience are just to die for. I can see why people go here on holidays and never come home. The staff at the Mercure in Broome have been excellent and the General Manager Jeff was the ultimate in hands on. He was doing laundry when I met him and it was not until the next night that I found out he was the boss. I splashed about in their pool every night, it was a great way to freshen yourself up for the evening. I totally forgot to get a pic of it but I will be sad to leave that behind as well. I mean who wants to swim in croc infested waters. One wrong move could really spoil your afternoon. 

Horizontal Falls

Huge day today in sunny Western Australia. I leapt (well more correctly lurched) out of bed at the unchristian hour of 5.00am to prepare myself for a 5.40am pickup from the hotel. I am so in the zone at the moment that I broke one of my cardinal rules today and got on a single engine plane not once, but twice. I didn't need a scotch nor did my heart race even increase slightly. For those of you who know my love of flying, in particular small planes, you will no doubt be somewhat bemused that I ventured forth in such a craft.

Broome Time

Well I lobbed in to Broome about 11.15am yesterday. I was faced with a number of quite pleasant problems. Where to have lunch, where can I buy some sunscreen, should I get a broad rimmed hat? I am staying at the Mecure which is short walk from Chinatown, the tourist hub of Broome. It has a pool and a pub attached and it looks out over Roebuck Bay, all very diverting. The weather forecast for the 4 days I will be here are exactly the same. Top of 32 degrees, overnight low of 11 degrees with full sunshine and not a cloud in the sky. Broome time is a reference to the town's ambience. It is pretty chilled, relaxed, laid back (I think you get the picture). If you just let everything wash over you its a nice space to be in. I found that zone in Exmouth and I'm doing my level best to stay there......  yeah it's Broome time.

Going Native

I have finally succumbed, I'm going native. I've bought myself a pair of thongs. I haven't owned thongs since 1985. These aren't even good thongs. It's not like they'll be my "going out thongs" or anything like that. I haven't shaved for three days and not only that but I picked up a hitch hiker today (we both survived the ordeal). Pretty soon I will be wearing a blue shearers singlet and think that ugg boots can be worn in public. My standards are dropping and I just don't give s rats. 

Exmouth

After the rush of the whole whale whark thing it is going to be hard to top that as an experience. Having said that the magic thing about this place (and if I win Oz Lotto this week I will move here) is the range to the reef. You literally can see the Cape Range and the Ningaloo Reef from much of the coastline and it is truly stunning scenery. 

Ningaloo Reef

I went for a bit of a boat trip today, 5 kilometres off shore past Ningaloo Reef. I got to see some migrating whales (both humpback and southern right), I got to see a dugong up close which was pretty special (I'd only managed to see one from a distance in Monkey Mia). There were heaps of turtles although they dived the moment they saw us plus several flying fish and a sea snake. The most impressive thing however is I saw 4 whale sharks and then I went swimming with them.

Exmouth

This is just a quick update as there is little to report. I headed out of Shark Bay today for the 685km trip up north to Exmouth. There were a couple of interesting things along the way, if you like termite's that is. 

Termite Nest

The landscape from about 130km's out of Exmouth then almost all the way in to the town is littered with these termite nests. They stand taller than I do and look like the hillside has a bad case of teenage acne. Really weird.

Before I got to Exmouth I came in through Carnarvon, a town that played a big part in relaying communications for the Apollo space program (including the moon landing). The town was sadly one big council road works project and most unappealing. I filled up with fuel at the local Caltex who were putting down a new concrete driveway. There were no signs to that affect but you had to either reverse out or do a U turn and drive out. That was all fine if no one came in to fill up behind you (which they did en masse) mainly with boats and caravans in tow. It took about 30 minutes just to leave the service station. That's without mentioning the eftpos not working. Suffice it to say there not a lot to say that's nice about the place.

The only other thing of note to happen is an interesting number appeared on the odometer today. You really take whatever amusement you can get on those long drives. Take a look at the pic below and you will see what I mean. I have put some serious k's on the old car, I may have to wait until they bring out the new models as an Opel later this year. Despite what Jeremy Clarkson thinks of them this one has been pretty damn good. 

Sunny and 25 degrees in Exmouth tomorrow, should be a nice day for a swim.

Monkey Mia

In my last post I spoke about the shell quarry. Last night I ate in a restaurant built from the shell bricks taken from the same quarry. The food may as well have come from there as well, it was pretty ordinary.

Another Country

Having recently dried myself and my clothes after yesterdays deluge the freshly laundered Sirwhisky set out to see if he could get his title ratified. Sadly, as predicted, the Kalbarri National Park was shut. I have no problem with how the national parks are managed, the people in charge take their position very seriously but I have to laugh at how the locals react. 

Kalbarri via The Pinnacles

The weather front (that would be a great name for a band) chased me up the coast today. I managed to stay ahead of it until Cervantes then it absolutely walloped me in Gerladton and again just out of Kalbarri. Despite all that I am sitting in an ocean side restaurant called The Grass Tree sipping red wine in a pair of shorts and a polo shirt. What's the weather like with you right now?

Fremantle

I headed out to Fremantle today despite the impending weather front. The forecast was not promising and quite frankly the forecast turned out to be much better than the reality. Mother nature got out of the wrong side of bed this morning, plus she'd run out of coffee and had some late developing PMT. She dealt with it quite well all things considered and is feeling much better now thank you very much. She took it all out on Fremantle.

Perth

I hit Perth last night. What can I say but it hit me back. After checking in to my accommodation and doing a quick walk around the city to reacquaint myself with it's charms I went to the bar. It was all a bit of blur from there. I met up with Josh, a Boeing engineer, who is out here with the US Navy to help with their submarine tracking aircraft (I know who cares right?). He then introduced me to representatives of the US Navy and what can I say? Their ships may be bigger than ours but that doesn't mean they can handle our schooners. In summing up the US Navy had a great time and Australia can hold its head up proud (even if I no longer can). After staggering out of some nightclub in Northbridge at about 5.00am and having savoured the delights of a number of Perth's new small bars it was time for me to rest my weary head. 

Margaret River

I so looked forward to going back to the Margaret River, sadly the most generous thing I could say about it now is that it's unremarkable. 20 years ago it was a few overpriced wineries with a sleepy main street featuring a gorgeous old pub and maybe a dozen shops. Now, the pub is still there, almost smothered by a sea of shops. I almost walked past it. however it no longer dominates the main drag. It is just another retail storefront who along with all the other businesses is fighting for your attention. The town had a real sense of urgency to it, and not in a good way. People's traffic manners were awful and it felt like the tourists were almost resented by those locals not involved in the industry. I got the impression it was full of tree changers who weren't happy with the choice they've made. One local renamed the town Manic Creek and that just about hits the nail on the head.

Walking With Ancient Giants

It was pouring rain when I left Albany and it hardly let up all day. My original plan had been to take a slow trip up the coast to the Margaret River, checking out the sensational scenery along the way. I really only had one must do activity planned at that was the "Tree Top Walk" that is installed in the Tingle Forest just south of Walpole. It's a short stroll of just 600 metres along a suspended walkway 40 metres above the forest floor - spectacular. It was so good I did it twice. Sadly while I followed the coast most of the way the weather ruined any chance of me catching the breathtaking coastal views I remember from my last visit.

Albany WA

Headed out from Esperance to Albany, a short 5 hour drive. Sadly there is not a lot to see on the trip so I basically did it one hit with a very brief stop for refreshments. Albany is the oldest settled town on Western Australia, even two years older than Perth. Also it is about as far as you can get away from Muswellbrook without leaving the country. I'll leave you all to ponder that. I was last here in 1992 and thought it was fabulous. Its called the rainbow coast because it gets so much rain and wherever you turn it is awash with rainbows in the mist. It certainly has grown however, with grain silos ruining the vista of the waterfront and the main street at least doubling in length. It took me a while to get my bearings. There is however one significant landmark and once I had found it everything fell into place.

Esperance

Esperance has many of the same qualities of Port Lincoln, in fact you could describe it as Pot Lincoln Lite. I can see that not many of you have read the second entry of my Port Lincoln blog so I will tell you what you've missed (no not really I can't be bothered). Suffice it to say that Esperance is a really nice town. It's the Queen's birthday weekend and most of the town is shut which is a shame. It does however abound in natural beauty and you can't shut that. It has no building taller than 3 stories, the natives are friendly and has had excellent weather so far. Well worth the visit.

Across The Nullarbor

What can I tell you about the Nullarbor? It's a long way across. 479 kilometres yesterday and 924 kilometres today, a full 9 hours 45 minutes in the car and that was just today's effort. The last 203 clicks weren't technically the Nullarbor but the town at the Western Australian end, Norseman, didn't have a lot to commend it. Nullarbor came about from joining two Latin words, "null" as in zero and "arbor" as you would use for arborist or tree surgeon. In other words it means no trees. Well there are plenty of trees on the Nullarbor, just not when you need one to take a leak behind.

Lost In Time

I awoke early in Ceduna courtesy of the trucks trundling past my door. No breakfast was available where I stayed but there was an excellent truck stop nearby that put on a massive breakfast for $17.50. I however had other ideas. The Ceduna Hotel had signs up saying they did breakfast from 7.00am - 11.00am on Saturdays for $17.90 (all you could eat - hot and cold buffet) plus they had the added benefit of a much nicer view. It turned out breakfast could have been free (I couldn't find anyone to pay, I am too honest - they only charged me $10.50 anyway) and the view was great. It put in a much better mood for the drive ahead. 

Port Lincoln to Ceduna

I bounded out of bed at 7.00am (I had no choice the workers in the next room were making a hell of a racket) and was on the road by 8.30am. The plan today was to get to Ceduna which is essentially the starting point for the run across the Nullarbor. I achieved my aim and saw a bunch of interesting things along the way. Not sure that Ceduna is a place of great merit, then again I only have myself to blame for its choice. Let me explain.

Port Lincoln Part 2

I spent the day exploring Port Lincoln and the surrounding area. It was just a magic day and the last that autumn had to offer was unbelievably fine. 

Above is the view from my apartment. I could struggle out of bed to that every morning, you wouldn't even have to ask nicely. After a leisurely breakfast I headed for the foreshore grabbed a coffee and soaked up the rays. The foreshore had marble plinths along the way commemorating things such as Matthew Flinders finding the place, the first fishing trawler, the last cargo sailing ship; that sort of thing. Right in the middle of the park however, almost at the waters edge, is a statue of Makybe Diva. I mean Matthew Flinders found the place but the horse got the statue. It makes you proud to be an Aussie.

The statue cost $180,000.00 and is a life size replica. Her owner  (Tony Santic) comes from the town so there is a legitimate connection. Plus its not everyday you win the Melbourne Cup and to do it three times is pretty special. It made for an interesting diversion. 

I headed to the Axel Stenross Maritime Museum where they had an excellent display of the all the commercial fishing activities that goes on around the town. There are cray fisherman, prawn fisherman, tuna fisherman, abalone divers and oyster farmers. Aquaculture is big business in Port Lincoln. The museum's name sake was a local Finnish boat builder who lived here for over 50 years. There are many examples of his handiwork on display.

The town also offers a range of aquatic activities that a visitor can partake in. You can go diving with sharks (yeah right), you can swim with the tuna (sorry but they won't swim too well when they are served medium rare with a white wine sauce) or you can swim with the sea lions (nobody seemed to notice it was a day before Winter) along with a host of other things. I passed on all of these and went in search of food.

I headed out to Coffin Bay home to what are considered to be the world's best oysters. What a sad story that place is. It got its name for being the place where an almost entire ship load of passengers were buried. They were coming to Australia to settle in the only state that didn't have convicts and that was their fate. Struck down by yellow fever and never setting foot in their new homeland. Nuh, its all lies it was actually named by Matthew Flinders after one of his admiralty buddies Isaac Coffin. I liked my story better however.

Lunch: Ignore the Water and Admire the View

As you can see lunch was pretty good, I followed up the oysters with a tuna steak salad, truly awesome. 

From there I needed to walk of my over indulgence and headed to the Coffin Bay National Park. I paid my entry fee and took in some of the views.

I communed with nature and actually got my feet wet walking along this beach.

I finished my afternoon with an hours walk up to a lookout where nature came to me. The bird life was abundant, I was greeted by kangaroos and the emus that had earlier tried to impale themselves on my car still were pretty friendly (don't be surprised if I come home with an emu hood ornament, they are seriously suicidal). I headed back to town to catch up with a friend of a friends. There must be something about the Bryant name, everyone with that surname seems to be going out of their way to be nice to me.

Jim Bryant is a spritely 82 year old and former chairman of the local radio station along with a myriad of other business interests. He kindly took time out of his incredibly active life to give me a few tips about the journey ahead, share some gossip about out old mate Daryl Durrant and just generally chew the fat. 

I retired for the evening, grabbed a whisky, took in the awesome view and did some preparation for the Nullarbor. I'm not sure what the phone/internet is like so I may be off the radar for a few days. Anyway the plan is to spend the day exploring Streaky Bay then bedding down in Ceduna for the evening. After that its 1,200 kilometres of I know not what. I'll catch everybody on the flip side.

The Country Wave

The trip into Port Lincoln was long and somewhat tedious. South Australia has one very good feature however that NSW could learn from, roads that would be marked as 90kph in NSW are sign posted as 110kph here. It speeds up the boredom. 

Port Lincoln

I pointed the Vectra in the direction of the coast and set out for Port Lincoln, sadly waving goodbye to Wilpena Pound. The Flinders Ranges is one of those places that has to be seen to be believed. It is full of incredible beauty tinged with tragedy and sadness. The entire area is testimony to man's failure to tame the elements. 

Healthy Weight Part 4

If I could distill down my reading on the subject of dieting to few basic points these would be them.

Whole foods are best. To put it quite simply the more natural, unprocessed and for that matter how little cooked the food is the better it is for you. Obviously there are some exceptions to this but it is not a bad filter to run your food preparation and consumption decisions through.

Flinders Ranges

The Magical Whisky Tour rolls on and here I am in the Flinders Ranges. How can I best describe them? They're like the Power Rangers only with less Lycra and dressed in natural colours. I need to thank DB for his excellent advice otherwise I would never have come here. The scenery, in particular the scope of the scenery, is just breath taking. From now on DB you will be known as "The Guru of Glenelg". The skies have been cloudless and the breadth of your vision is literally not big enough to take in the mighty vistas. Impressive stuff.

I left Burra and all it had to offer at about 9.00am on Monday morning and headed for the ranges. I took a slightly longer route that took me along a bit of the coast. There was no real benefit to this. I just passed through a number of sleepy towns and skirted around Port Pirie and Port Augusta. I stopped for lunch at a place called Quorn (pronounced Corn like the vegetable). At one point in the trip I was only 320 kms from Broken Hill, you don't realise how big NSW is until you try to avoid it. Quorn was the last place you could get reasonably priced petrol (to give you an example it is $1.70 a litre here) so I topped up and had some lunch after wandering around the town.

Quorn itself had once been a big railway town where the original "Afghan" or more commonly known as the "Ghan" railway passed through. During WWII it serviced 43 trains a day with troops criss crossing the country. It still has a railway but it is run by volunteers and only works on weekends for the tourist market, running down to Port Augusta and back. I had lunch at the delightful Emily's Bistro, where I was served an excellent roast pork and a flat white for $15.00. How do they do it for the price? It was housed in an old department store that still had the name "The Great Northern Emporium". It was liking a working museum. The business was lined with solid timber counters and glass display cases. It still had the old pulley system used to send sales overhead to the central cashier. Much of the furniture, crockery and cutlery was period as well. All fabulous stuff. They had an old piano in the corner that still had its original double sconce for holding the candles. I was tempted to sit down and have a play but I held myself back.

From Quorn it was on through Hawker and then Wilpena Pound Resort where I checked in for two nights. I managed to land a half price deal through wotif including breakfast which came in quite handy. Its an eco lodge apparently which probably means I shouldn't be using the air conditioner buts its cold and I am. I love these places, it has a sign asking you to reuse your towel for environmental purposes then gives you only enough space to hang up one. The room I'm in sleeps 4. The staff here are great and have been fabulous with maps and places to see. 

Went and saw some real Aboriginal rock art which was a bit special. You can't take your eyes off the view around here it is just all encompassing. But you cant take your eyes off the road either as the stock and the wildlife use it with almost gay abandon. In my two days driving here I have had wallabies, rock wallabies, sheep, rabbits, kangaroos and emus all jump blithely in front of the car, hell bent on committing suicide. Its lucky I am such a caring, sharing sensitive new age guy. 

Its real 4 wheel drive (and Vectra country), the poor old thing has been getting quite a beating on this trip. I got caught up in the bar with a tour group last night who were somewhat pretentious and giving everyone a hard time. I don't know how those tour leaders do it. I think I would be telling them to do the "in and word off" a lot. I found out what time they are eating tonight and am getting there an hour later. Hopefully I will miss them. 

I went to a place called Spokes Hill to watch this magnificent sunset earlier this evening. It would a really romantic place to take a date, fortunately I didn't have to worry as there were 7 4WD loads of tourists all having a wank about the size of their vehicles. I almost couldn't see the view for the tripods and the massive lenses on their camera. I was getting serious lens envy. I mean the last time I was involved in anything that long was one of the lunches I had in the 80's. Anyway the sunset was magic. I'm off to dinner now so I can torment some more tour groups. You have to make your fun wherever you can. 

Clare Valley

So it's goodbye to Adelaide and all the hopelessly well groomed people there. It's grown so much since my last visit and has really turned into quite the vibrant city. I jumped in a couple of cabs and they darted in and out of traffic with reckless abandon. The restaurants and bars were pumping and the shops were all well patronised. Its the kind of place I would be happy to live. There's just this one thing I have to mention. They have this one way freeway. It doesn't make any sense. In the morning it goes one way and on some evenings it goes another. If you are going against the traffic, bad luck take the highway with all it's 50 kmh zones and traffic lights. At unspecified dates and times the freeway runs in whatever direction it pleases. I believe the direction is chosen using the South Australian Premier's (Jay Weatherill) astrological charts, that would make as much sense any I suppose.

Maclaren Vale

I finally succumbed. Having travelled through innumerable wine districts over the last few weeks (think Hunter Valley, Tamar Valley, Coonawarra, Adelaide Hills, Limestone Coast, Mornington Peninsula, Padthaway and Clare Valley) I finally did some serious wine tasting. Before I could do that I caught up with an old buddy who I had let slip through the cracks. David Bolton, or DB as he is known, owns a company here is Adelaide called Maximum Gaming. He and I, along with selected others, had an annual ritual of catching up every year at the Gaming Expo in Sydney. Needless to say it was lots of good food, food wine and good company. He kindly took a day out of his busy life to play tour guide to Maclaren Vale. Together we drank lots of wine, talked about the old days, caught up on the new developments he has going (he will be king of LED lighting in Australia of that I have no doubt) and took is some magical wines accompanied by some fabulous vistas. A better way to spend a day I cannot think of.

Adelaide

It seems that the bad weather is following me around. It poured down on my drive up to Adelaide from Cape Jervis and by lunchtime Friday it was raining after what looked to be a fine start to the day. I haven't been here since 1985, things have changed. There's traffic to begin with. Adelaide used to be a big country town now its clearly a city. Many of the people are impossibly well groomed and dressed. It has lots of imposing old buildings scattered around the place and of course it's home to the Giant Pandas. 

Kangaroo Island to Adelaide

The people on Kangaroo Island are really starting to grow on me, they speak with a frankness that is quite refreshing. They call a spade a front end loader. There is no doubt what they mean and where you stand. We all agreed that the recent weather had been crap and yes it would have been nice for me to have seen it all but I either had to stick around and hope it got better or suck it up princess and stop whining. Off course I found a third way. 

Kangaroo Island

Well the weather here is crap but that's ok. I'm told it doesn't rain underground. I have ventured out from my accommodation in Kingscote and struck out in the Vectra to Seal Bay, then on to the Birds of Prey display and inevitably the Kelly Hill Cave. I was warned before I got here that the Islanders use a different method of time keeping, it may not be quite geological but Greenwich mean is more of a concept than reality. They are a rough and tumble lot, real back slapping, beer swilling, nose picking, ball scratching kind of guys. 

Murray Bridge

I spent the night in Murray Bridge last night and don't I wish I hadn't, what a dump. My Coonawarra Cab Sav hangover didn't get better all day. It was miserable whenever I went. Anywhere that was even mildly interesting or scenic was spoilt by the weather. The towns got progressively more dull. Robe was nice, Kingston was ok and Meningie didn't have a lot going for it apart from the wind. At that point I decided that at the next decent size town I would stop for the night. I consulted the map ans there were three choices, Wellington, Tailem Bend and Murray Bridge. Suffice it to say I didn't make a good choice.

To Narcoorte

Well what an entertaining couple of days. I headed out of Mt Gambier through streets lined with sandstone houses decorated with the pink dolomite the region is known for. The plan was to check out some of the local caves (you may have gathered its kind of an interest of mine), then hit the Coonawarra and sample some red wine. Not quite whisky but I will struggle along all the same. Then I thought I would spend a quiet Sunday night in Naracoorte, go to bed early then head in to Adelaide in the morning. Well it all started to go pear shaped as I checked into the Naracoorte pub.

To Mount Gambier

Well I have left Warrnambool, Victoria and headed along the coast road landing in Mount Gambier about 20 kilometres inside the South Australian border. I can now say that I am slower than the east coast because as I drove across the border the speed limit may have increased to 110km but time went backwards, 4.00pm became 3.30pm. 

Back to the Mainland

Jumped on board the Spirit of Tasmania II for the voyage home. 15 knot winds and a one metre swell, I have been to rougher birthday parties. It didn't really seem like we were on the water at all. I drove off the ship at 6.55am (my god that's early) and headed for Geelong, where I had breakfast, filled the car up (only $1.41.9 a litre) and gave the old Vectra a bit of a wash (she didn't look so good covered in Tasmanian bird droppings). While Queenscliff is the actual start to the Great Ocean Road most Melbournites pick it up at Geelong. It was time to cross the next thing from my bucket and drive the Great Ocean Road.

To get out of Melbourne I had to cross the West Gate Bridge, scene of another famous bridge disaster. In 1970, while still being constructed, a span of the bridge collapsed killing 35 people. These were mainly workers who were either on the span at the time or tragically were under it on a morning tea break when it all came crashing down. 

Having made it across I headed to Geelong then on to Torquay where the ocean part of the road's name begins to appear. From there it was on to Lorne. Lorne was clearly in the process of being massively over developed. What once must have been a sleepy coastal village was now covered in shiny new chrome and glass apartment buildings that rose from up the town's surrounding hills like some post modernist giant's staircase. 

From Lorne it was on to Apollo Bay where the process was over development was also in full flight. Both towns were full of Asian tourists dutifully propping up another sector of the Australian economy. It makes perfect sense really, once the mining boom is over and we no longer own the country it will be important for the new owners to know the best places to live. 

Apollo Bay

From Apollo Bay it was on to Port Campbell but first I had to pay a visit to the Twelve Apostles. Apparently they were originally called the "Sow and Her Piglets" and that there were never 12 of them only 9. The name was changed to give them a more tourist friendly image back in the 1920's. In this secular age and the fact that I could only count 7 of them maybe they should change the name again to something like the seven dwarves (but that wouldn't work on so many levels).

Now this is a massive tourist location, despite the relative difficulty in getting there and having seen hardly any cars on most of the Great Ocean Road (apart from in the towns) to pull into a car park that contained well over 100 vehicles was a bit weird. Where did they all come from? Are they lost? Do they know the way home?   Is there enough food? 

There are a number of other natural features that are available for viewing within a few kilometres of the apostles. The most famous of these being London Bridge (it should now be more correctly known as London Island). In January of 1990 one of the spans collapsed stranding two people on Australia's newest island getaway. Fortunately no one was hurt and they were rescued by helicopter a few hours later. It does give you a greater respect for the power of nature. 

Before

After

From the apostles it was on to Port Campbell and then Warrnambool. The Great Ocean Road becomes the Great Forest Road as you wind your way through the luscious green dairy country of the Aire Valley. It's all so hopelessly picturesque with letter boxes made from old milk pales and the Friesian cows grazing happily in the paddocks. I am sure the Upper Hunter looked a bit like this at one time. In a way its still the same, instead of Friesian cows we have yellow caterpillars and instead of grazing in paddocks they graze on rock. The imagery isn't quite as romantic though. 

I spent the night in Warrnambool and will check out it's virtues after a dull night of washing and a good nights sleep.

Farewell to Tassie

I spent my last night in Tasmania catching up with an old friend of mine. He moved down to Tassie about 8 years ago and we sort of fell out of touch. He's a rash all over the computer now as when you google him there are references to him on newspaper websites, and in local radio archives. He's a councillor on the Break O Day council (a position I know he would do with great diligence and care). So if you are one of Reon's constituents what can I say but come election day, vote early and vote often. Reon and his partner Wendy kindly put me up for the night and we talked about the old days. I had prepared myself for a night of drunken debauchery but it just didn't happen. 

MONA - The Museum of Old and New

After Port Arthur I headed back across the Derwent to check out MONA - The Museum of Old and New. Many years ago in 1975 there was a pretty significant accident involving the the bulk ore carrier "Lake Illawarra" and the Tasman Bridge. Essentially the Lake Illawarra collided with the bridge and cars went plummeting off the edge. This event quite literally divided Hobart and saw 12 people killed including both motorists and ship's crew. It was huge news when I was a kid. It was across this very bridge that I travelled to get to MONA.

Old Hobart Town & Port Arthur

Headed off from Hobart at about 9.00am with Richmond my first stop. It is an amazing old town, full of heritage buildings and, along with Stanley, a place I would have appreciated some more time to explore. The reason for my visit was a little bit kitsch. Firstly I wanted to see the oldest bridge in Australia, but I also wanted to see "Old Hobart Town". It's a miniature world recreating Hobart circa 1820 in 1/16th scale. I've always been a sucker for that kind of stuff.

Hobart

After recovering from my very thorough wine tasting and subsequent whisky appreciation at a local pub I ventured forth to conquer Hobart. Everywhere you turn there is some old building, point of interest or convict thing. The Taswegians are very proud of their state and rightly so. Anywhere that can make coffee as consistently well as Tasmania deserves high praise indeed. 

To Hobart

Hit The Road at about 9.30am, wanted to give the frost a chance to dry out before I headed to Hobart. Went out through Queenstown an old derelict looking place that had completely denuded hills from the copper mining that had gone on there for many years. I needed to fill up with petrol but this was just too depressing for words so I pushed on. The trip got far more entertaining after that.

Gordon River

Decided to spend the day in Strahan and take a cruise on the Gordon River. The weather was crappy. I just couldn't face the 4 hour drive to Hobart with all the rain so I hung around. There is not a lot going on in Strahan so it should make for extremely dull, quiet and early night.

Cradle Mountain to Strahan

I awoke this morning to the ferocious sound of wild animals mating. I rushed to the window and flung open the curtains and startled two Tasmanian Pademelons (a variety of wallaby) but the noise didn't stop. It turned out the animals were in the next room. I had a big day planned so I showered and headed to the lodge for the buffet breakfast (carefully scrutinising every couple there to see if I could identify the culprits). I soon bored with that game and jumped in the car and headed for the little coastal hamlet of Stanley. In particular a place called "The Nut" for reasons that will soon become self evident.

On Board The Spirit

Set my alarm for 5.00am (my God who gets up at the time?), and was out of bed, showered and on deck by 6.00am. The ship was already docked and a dark, foggy and industrial Devonport was looming outside. The glowing arches of that famous Scottish Restaurant was Tasmania's most visible landmark. This was clearly the working part of the coastline. I didn't want it to be too nice, the start today is going to be a little dull. The first port of call is the laundromat (a bachelors work is never done).

Burnie to Cradle Mountain

Slept for ten hours straight (the 5.00am start on board the Spirit of Tasmania was not to my liking). Got up to an amazing view over the port of Burnie and had brekkie while taking it all in. Burnie is a strange place. The part of town I stayed in was excellent. It was next door to the Burnie Club that was prominently yet discreetly sign posted as "members only" and looked very swank. There well maintained Victorian mansions either side of the motel, plus there was a goat.

Devonport to Burnie

It took just 20 minutes to get the old Vectra off the Spirit of Tasmania. The operation is a well oiled machine. First stop, the laundromat which doesn't make for instructive travel stories. 90 minutes and with a week's worth of freshly laundered clothes folded and bagged later, I departed. Being the well organised person that I am I had made absolutely no plans about what I was doing and where I was going. So I headed to the Devonport Tourist Information office where two volunteers (I think they were retirees) spent a good hour with me showing me things to do in Tassie (thank you guys you were great). They then handed me off to one of the paid staff who booked me some accommodation in Burnie for the night. With no more excuses I headed out to discover Tasmania.

Bush Walk Ratings

Now since I have been away I have been doing a bit of bush walking. This takes the place of my usual afternoon jaunts around the golf course at Muswellbrook (for which I am justly unknown for). Its much more stimulating than looking at the damage done to the greens by white cockatoos. What has been really interesting is the different ratings given to how hard a particular track is to walk. In NSW if its says you need 2 hours to walk it I have been doing in half that time. In Canberra it took about two thirds of the recommended time. In Victoria however they really mean it, if they say 2 hours they expect you take it at a jog and there wont be any dilly dallying about and stopping to look at the scenery thank you very much.

Spirit of Tasmania

I'm sitting in The Leatherwood Restaurant on the Spirit of Tasmania II, sipping New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and about to dine on Tasmanian Smoked Salmon and Blue Eyed Trevella. Let me just say that again I'm sitting in The Leatherwood Restaurant on the Spirit of Tasmania II, sipping New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and about to dine on Tasmanian Smoked Salmon and Blue Eyed Trevella. 

Erica to the Mornington Peninsula via Walhalla

Woke up in Erica to one of those rural vistas (see below) that was just too idyllic for words so I headed out of town to find some breakfast. Erica is a small logging community of about 150 people that happens to be located in some truly gorgeous countryside. The next town, Rawson, was a six minute drive and is considerably larger than Erica. Off I trotted in search of my morning sustenance, but due to lack of interest Rawson was closed. Sheepishly I returned to Erica and spent a whopping $ 8.50 on a huge breakfast from the local General Store. It sold firewood, managed the mail, it's a cafe, is the local tourist information office and essentially the place that run's Erica. To top it all off it made great coffee.

Psychic GPS

I haven't talked much about the tech I am using on this trip except to vent my spleen at Mobicity for their fairly ordinary efforts in delivering my phone (btw I got a refund). I picked up another HTC One X in Penrith on the way to the Blue Mountains and have been learning its capabilities on the fly. Two of the best features it has is the Navigation App from Google and the integrated mp3 player. What's truly psychic about this is just how integrated it is.

Now the GPS talks to me, which is nice now that its just me, this blog and the road. It has a stern American female voice, imagine taking your stay at home aunt, who is a bit of a know it all and basically the fun police, and putting her in charge of giving you directions to places that neither of you have never been. She has to sound like she's in charge, she can't sound exasperated and she doesn't know how to pronounce place names (you should hear her say Kosciuszko). I have given her a name, Martha. It had to be a no nonsense name, like an old school teacher or even worse librarian. She is a stranger in a strange land but she is trying to deal with as best she can. Plus she's psychic.

Now when Martha doesn't have things to tell me she lets me play mp3 files through the Bluetooth audio sync with the car sound system, she then butts in whenever she needs too. What's a little creepy is her song selection. I first noticed it when I was entering Jindabyne, up came the old Midnight Oil song from Red Sails in the Sunset, "Kosciuszko". I smiled quietly too myself at the luck of that. I have about 1,600 tunes in Martha's memory so it wasn't too big a stretch to think it just a bit lucky.

On leaving Jindabyne that's when it started getting weird. I was about to hit the 100 km zone of the Snowy Mountains Highway when on came Elvis Costello singing "Watching the Detectives", just then two highway patrol cars sped past me. I'm starting to laugh out loud at the irony and then it hit me, Martha is psychic. I kept a very careful ear on her song selection from that point on. Next freaky thing was a small grape growing district I was travelling through and up popped Cold Chisel singing "Cheap Wine". Now I'm starting to hear the Twilight Zone theme music in my head. 

I'm thinking this could be great, if I get to drive across the Nullarboor and Alan Parson starts singing "Eye in the Sky" I KNOW there will be one of those helicopter speed guns somewhere above my head and can slow down. I'm going to be really nice to Martha from now on though. I am positively freaking out about what she will play when I board the Spirit for Tasmania soon. If Flash in the Pan start singing "Down Among the Dead Men" (about the sinking of the titanic) I'll be wearing life vest for the entire trip.