From Pensacola I got off the major highways and headed down the western side of Florida along the Gulf of Mexico. This is redneck heaven. Every cliche you have heard about backward American hicks is illustrated here in all its unreconstructed glory. They speak with a southern twang that often sounds so agressive and to the untrained ear it is almost nonsensical. Try saying this out loud with the afore mentioned accent and you'll get what I mean ".....Ma (my) mutha's (mother's) ma systa (sister)!!!!!". You have to spit it out as if you're really angry and I'm really dumb and shouting it will help me understand.
Don't get me wrong I am absolutely loving it but it seems pretty damn funny to my antipodean ears. The countryside is gorgeous and everyone is welcoming. It helps if you play the typical Aussie and say g'day alot, they seem to love it.
On the way I crossed the Swanee River made famous in the American folk song Old Folks at Home. Apparently the guy who wrote it never actiually went there and all the references in the song don't match up with what you find, this includes the title. Its actually derived from the local Native American language and is really the Suwannee River. It didn't have a lot to commend it so I pushed on.
Being the Gulf of Mexico there is plenty of great seafood. I ordered up some Oyters Moscow, they were $12.00 for a dozen, I dream of those prices. They are a lot larger than our oysters and a darker brown colour.
I had these at a town called Apalachicola before heading down to Cedar Keys which is the starts of the Keys (I think?). It is a tiny little town that is basically tourism driven. The local don't seem to want to embrace the fact but they know that they need them. The town's fisherman lost their right to commercially fish so while it is a pretty little spot it is a poor community. I had a great breakfast at a place that was trying to make a go of it, Kona Joes Island Cafe. Sadly some drunken fool (not me) had broken in the previous evening. The local police were there investigating. I even saw the two police (this is a town of 700 people mind you) turn around and look at me with the owner because I was a stranger in these here parts, before I was discarded as a suspect.
I have mentioned before that they love their guns here. Well the weekend I chose to visit Cedar Keys was their annual pirate weekend and they were really getting into it. Many of the locals and most of the visitors were dressed accordingly and incidentially had been consuming rum from an early hour it seems. Every time a cell phone would ring it would be answered "ahoy there matey" and other such authentic pirate sayings. Reading the history of the region I could find no pirate connections but who cares right? Anyway about those guns. So I am casually walking along the dock which is littered with shops and restaurants and then there is the god almighty BOOM. I look around and no one seemed to care, I get closer to the beach and hear it again, but now I see its source. They have a cannon and it seems to be in the care of two drunk good ol' boys dressed as pirates. They were having a fine time.
Everyone was extremely impressed with cannon and the noise it was making and I would have to include myself on that list. By this time I was drenched in perspiration and rain and headed back to the hotel to shower and change for dinner. An afternoon shower seems to be the norm this time of year in Florida. The evening meal was at Tony's, an award winning chowder place, where I ordered a seafood platter. Before calling it a night I checked the Hurricane warning website, apparently its that time of year, who knew? So I bedded down for the evening safe in the knowledge that I wouldn't be blown away and that the good ol' boys had the town well defended.
Anyway its on to Fort Myers next before I get to Key Largo and Key West, exciting times on Geek Wonderlost road trip.
No comments:
Post a Comment